Close Encounters from the Third Age
by Aureachiale Valkyrie
Summary: You probably think me to be some raving fan girl, writing herself into one of the books...I assure you I am not...This is truly what happened to me, whether or not you believe it is another story." A woman's life changes when an Elf 'drops in' unexpectedl
1. Default Chapter

> So! My first ever LOTR fanfic! Wow! I don't know if it's any good… the idea came to me one night and I had to write it down, otherwise I would have exploded sooooo…. Here it is. Please review!

**Disclaimer: I am a woman, not a man. I attend High school, not Oxford… and I certainly don't have enough brains to create books such as the LOTR Therefore. I do not own any of this. K?**

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Normalcy. Everyone lives their life by their own definition of it. The definition of normalcy my life had achieved was completely GONE when something happened to me that was…odd? Unusual? Strange? UNEXPECTED! That's it! Unexpected… something rather unexpected happened to me and it changed my life quite a bit. I am writing this to get it off my chest and get it OUT there…. You more than likely think me to be some raving fan girl… Obsessed with a fantasy so much that she writes herself into one of the books… but I assure you I am not. My name is Anita Jeanne Croswell. And this is my…well… my unexpected encounter and how it changed me.

I had always been a quiet, reserved girl… brainy but not popular or overly pretty. I avoided making friends altogether through most of my school career. To me that was absolutely fine. I had my books. The characters in the books welcomed me… and didn't ignore me. Like most children I enjoyed fantasy…. tales of dragons and mythical beings of princesses and kings. I didn't have Harry Potter as a child. However I did have something better, The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I would read and reread those books. I wasn't overly obsessed or anything. I just found Professor Tolkien's novels brilliant and well written. I would spend hours upon hours reading them. I never tired of the battles in which I knew the outcome… they still made my heart race and my mind worry that one of the characters that I loved so dearly would be killed. Yes, the books were very intriguing to my young mind. Alas… I became more skilled in the social world, and made new friends of a more… realistic nature, and my old buddies, the trilogy that amazed me, was shoved to the back of my closet to make more room for when I had sleepovers.

As a matter of fact… I had completely forgotten them until I heard that they were making movies OF the books. The minute I was informed of this (my best friend Kristin was the one to yell it in my ear one morning on the subway) I retrieved the books from my parent's home. Between work and everything an adult handles I had just enough time to finish them before the first movie came out. I was impressed with EVERYTHING the movie had to offer. It stayed pretty close to the book and had amazing set design and good actors! So, naturally I was excited when the second movie came out, and saw it with said best friend. That is when my fateful story begins. The Night I saw the movie rendition of The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers….

"So," my eager friend said as we emerged from the crowded movie theater onto the wet New York street, "How did yoo like zee second moovie in zee series?"

I laughed, pulling out my umbrella so as to not get wet from the rain, "Well you stupid accent just lowered my opinion ten points!"

Kristin playfully hit my arm, "That was my impression of a French woman on crack! Now… back to my question you have not answered… dija like it?"

_French woman on crack? The poor dear is going insane! _ I thought. To humor her I answered honestly, "I enjoyed it. But there was one point that bothered me. It was toward the end."

"And this point that bothered you was….?"

"I don't think Haldir was supposed to die in that battle. He was supposed to die in the battle at Minas Tirith. They killed him off too soon."

My friend replied with one of her usual unexpected answers.

"It just bothered you 'cause he was hot."

"_WHAT??"_ I said loudly, so loudly that people in the subway car stared at me.

My friend blinked once. Twice. "You heard me. You were pissed because 'Haldir' or whatever the hell his name is, was H-O-T."

I gaped at her, disbelieving. "NO! It was because it wasn't true to the BOOK!"

My friend laughed, her blonde hair shaking, "Oh, come on Anni! It's _normal _to believe a member of the opposite sex is HOT… and trust me. Whoever the guy that played him WAS H-O-T!"

I shook my head and turned to look out of the El train windows at the passing city.

She laughed again, "God! You're such a prude! Miss 'I keep all of my sexual and naughty desires inside so I look all sweet and innocent'! You need to let loose! Repeat after me, _'The Haldir dude was HOT! He was sexy! I want him!'_"

"Kris stop, there are people watching." I whispered.

"So?" she sighed, "You really are a prude. Your last boyfriend was, what? Like a YEAR ago? And even that wasn't a serious relationship.. if you can even call it that."

I sucked in my breath, she was beginning to make me mad, "Darryl and I mutually agreed to end the relationship because of differences in our future."

Kristin sneered, "Yeah, because he probably SAW one and you didn't."

That was it. I was getting off at this stop and taking a taxi home. I was NOT going to deal with her antics in a public place. The train stopped, and I got off. I heard her yell something like, "Come back, Neet!" before the doors closed, and the train rolled off.

I sat on the platform for a long time, taking in the underground smell and the hobo down at the other end of the platform. Thinking about what she had said. She didn't understand. No one would. No one knew. No one would EVER know. I had a reason for everything I did. I had a plan. A future perfectly mapped out. Admitting to my 'naughty thoughts' was NOT in the program. Maybe later after I had achieved…. But I already had. I had everything I wanted. Everything I had worked for in my life was just that. My life. I was the editor of a major magazine. I had a beautiful apartment in New York City. And a cat. What more did I need? Nothing. I had given up on love after…. I didn't want to think about it.

Standing up I realized how late it was. I hurried up the stairs that lead to the city above. I had to get home. Jasmine, my cat, would be looking for me. I walked the ten blocks to my apartment, allowing the drizzling rain to thoroughly soak me.

Later that night, as I lay in bed, I still couldn't get the movie off my mind. Not the whole movie, just the part where the Elf died. It was a graceful death, he had died fighting. And Kristin was right. The guy playing him was seriously hot. I yawned rolled over a fell asleep, into dreams of elves and battles and cats.

I slept in peace for a few hours when I was awakened by a loud FLUMP in my bedroom. I opened my eyes and stared at the area where the sound had come from. On my floor was a large dark figure. _'Oh shit!'_ I thought,_ 'I'm being robbed! This is not good! What am I supposed to do?'_ I did the only thing I could and switched on a light that was next to my bed. I sat up and stared at the figure on my floor. It was a… a MAN! Dressed to kill. Literally. He had on plated armor with a sword on his hip and a quiver of arrows on his back. I closed my eyes and said to myself, _'When I open my eyes this medieval man will be gone… and all will be well in the bedroom of Anita.'_

I heard a sound and my eyes flew open, and I immediately wished I kept them closed, for I was face to face with an arrow, a rather pointy arrow, which was on a bow, which was being held by the man who was supposed to have disappeared. Instead he was very much HERE and he seemed angry, though I couldn't see his face. He was talking in some very odd language that I (of course) did not understand. I swallowed and waited for him to finish his tirade, when he had I slowly said in a forced calm voice, "H-Hello! I don't understand you…. Umm…. Wh-Who are you? Can you speak English? And would you move the arrow? It's scaring me."

The arrow shifted slightly and the man said (in English, than GOD!) "My lady, I do not mean to be rude, but I believe the question should be who are _you_, and what are you doing in the forests of Lothlorien?"

"Th- What? Forests of… WHAT?" My mind was going into overdrive, what did this guy mean? My home didn't look like a forest! Let alone some forest in a magical land!

"The hour grows long and my patience thin. Answer my question."

I was all befuddled. I did not comprehend this guy's meaning! " I don't… You are…NOT in a forest…. Sir. You are in MY bedroom, in New York, on Earth. And could you please move the arrow?"

The arrow stayed in its position, in my face. The man sounded angrier every time he spoke to me. "What are you babbling about? I am March Warden of Lothlorien, you will obey my request! Now answer the question!"

Okay, now I was getting angry, and it showed in my voice, "Mr. March Warden, man Sir, person. We are NOT in Lothlorien! We are in MY bedroom in the city of New York! Therefore I have more power here in the land of…. ANITA! How many times must I repeat myself for you to understand?? No I would like to know who you are. Your name and NOT some title you have! And for the last time… MOVE THE DAMN ARROW!"

Surprise, surprise, my cat chose the exact moment to enter the room screeching, she ran at the intruder and clawed him on the leg, which forced him to shoot the arrow at my wall, knocking a painting down onto my bed, I had to jump off the bed to avoid being crushed by the painting. I hit the strange man (who was trying to kick my cat) and knocked him back wards into my jewelry box, on which he hit his head…rendering him unconscious.

It was a strange chain of event that probably saved a lot of time, I would have argued with him until dawn. The fact that he was knocked out gave me a chance to look at him. He had blonde hair, Marilyn Monroe blonde; and it was over his face. As I reached out to move it I caught sight of something odd. I blinked and looked again. Nope still odd. I looked closer, and realized in horror, that his ears were pointy. _'What the?'_ I was silently freaking out, and when I pushed the hair away from his face, I went through a full-blown internal breakdown. This was not good. I looked at him again and slowly everything fell into place, and I realized that I was in the company of an Elf from Lothlorien. But not just any elf… the March Warden… Haldir.

Okay! Good? Bad? Keep going or should I stick to acting? I NEED TO KNOW! (cries) Tell me! Please! You shall get… (looks around room for gifts) OOO! You shall get fiber optic frogs! YAY! But only if you review! No review, no froggy with lights!


	2. Wakey Wakey!

OH MY GOD! You peoples don't know how bad I wsa freaking out when I saw that I had five reviews!  I kept thinking "They hate it… they are going to turn up at my house in elf costumes trying to shoot arrows at me for being a crappy writer. " And now.. I must thank you… for being SO magnificently wonderfully nice! (hands out fiber optic frogs) Here are the bribery things I used, be kind to them.

Crow: NO! NOT BIRDS PLEASE! (cowers) Thank you so much for your review! It made me happy! WHOOO!

Maya: I heart Shakespeare…nothing can beat a good play, LOTR comes close though! Thank you for reviewing! (hugs)

Meghan: I shall keep going! I will crusade for my story! Thank you for taking the time to review.

Jade Limill: I have an evil cliffhanger! Something evil in my story (besides a cat attack).

EstrielandJenna: I like your name! Thank you for telling me that my story is original…I'm going to try and make it as original as I can, but with, like, 90 million stories about Haldir, it's going to be hard! OH! And you shall get both a review and a frog!

And now the second chapter of my story!

            _'No… no, this is not possible.  I AM GOING INSANE!'_ I thought.  It's either that or I was dreaming…nightmaring…whatever… In REALITY random elves from fictional novels dropping into your bedroom is NOT a common occurrence, and if it was I had been completely oblivious to the practice.  But the longer I stared at the lump on the floor, the more I realized, that this was, in fact, real, and that I had a very unconscious, very existent, very should be fictional ELF in my bedroom.

            I reached up to rub my temples and felt something wet on my hand; upon closer examination I saw that it was blood.  It was from my nose.  Apparently the arrow had been a little closer than I thought.  _'Okay, the first thing I should do is take away his weapons.' _Which proved more difficult than I expected, but, after ten minutes of pulling and wiggling, I was finally able to remove all of the scary, pointy dangerous, objects from his person.

            _'It seems that Middle Earth isn't as safe as Tolkien lead on!'  _This Elf was equipped for battle in the worst way!  He was 'armed' with a bow and arrow, two curved knives and another knife I found in his boot…shoe… thingy.  I checked once more to make sure he was completely 'disarmed' (goodness, I'm making him sound like a time bomb!) before putting the weapons in one of my separate bedrooms.  I then got myself a large glass of wine and stood over his limp form, wondering what the HELL I was going to do when he awoke a few hours from now….

            The wine must have been much stronger than I previously thought, because I found myself waking up just as the sun was rising.  I was lying crosswise on my bed.  _'All right.' _I said to myself with my eyes still closed, '_whatever happened last night was a dream.  There is no Elf in your bedroom and when you open your eyes you will see that all has gone back to normal.' _I counted to three before slowly opening my eyes…and I found myself STILL looking upon the unconscious form of Haldir.  The Elf.

            I sighed, and got up.  I wondered why I wasn't completely freaking out.  I usually do when unexpected things happen, but for some reason I didn't care.  I know that sounds awful…I think that I still thought that I was in a dream or has hallucinating or something.  I hopped over the elf and went into my bathroom to shower.  That's when I realized that showers DO wake you up to the things around you…because it was then that the entire situation fell on me and I began screaming bloody murder.  My voice was horse by the time I finished and I knew that the only thing I could was call Kristin…she was the person who could always help…

            I was still in a towel when I dialed her number…a tired sounding Kristin answered, sounding very…out of it.

            "Hello?" she said in the 'I have just woken up' voice.

            "Kris? Y-you NEED to come over here… I- need your help."

            "Wh-Who is this?"  She responded.

            My impatience got the better of me and I yelled, "It's you CONCIENCE, telling you to go over to Anita's house to help her.  Now get your lazy butt over here and HELP me!"

            I hung up, knowing that she had gotten my point.  I only hoped Haldir stayed out of the conscious world for the 15 minutes it took her to get to my home.  I guess my life took on some semblance of luck, because he DID…and Kristin arrived to aid me in my distress.

            But MAN was she pissed.

            "Okay… What the HELL did you feel was so _FREAKING _important that you felt the need to wake me up at SIX THIRTY… ON A SATURDAY???!!! I had to take the damn SUBWAY to get here and some lady wearing a lime green trench coat HIT ON ME!!!!"

            I motioned for her to be quiet and lead her to my bedroom.

            "NO! You DID NOT wake me up to show me your new bed sheets…did you?  If you did I'm gonna…" She was getting angrier by the second.  But once she saw what I was going to show her she would understand.  I softly pushed her into my room, and got in front of her so she wouldn't step on him.

            "Okay…did you bring me here to show me some guy you SLEPT with?  I know I was being mean about your whole 'non-relationship life' last night… but that doesn't mean you gotta go and pick up some guy dressed like a friggin' Lord of the Rings groupie.  Now who the HELL is he?"

            "No, I didn't sleep with him!  He…He kind of 'dropped' into my room last night."

            She snorted.  "Yeah! Dropped in from the nearest convention?  Or is he a stripper?"  She kicked his leg, "YO! Homes, wake up!"

            "DON'T KICK HIM!  And he won't wake up… he's unconscious."  That stopped her from kicking him a second time.

            "You sure 'bout that?  You sure he's not DEAD?" She kneeled by him.

            _'Shit!  I had never thought of that!  I just assumed he was knocked out from his collision with my jewelry box… DAMN!' _ I knelt next to her, "I think he's just knocked out.  Jasmine caused an interesting chain of events…that's why my painting is on the floor." 

            Kristin was still staring at him, and then she noticed his ears, "My God… Is-Is this an _Elf_?"

            I nodded, " Yup, and not just any Elf…He's Haldir.  He fell into my room last night at about three.  He threatened to shoot me and then he was knocked silly by falling into my jewelry box.  I have no clue how he got here or anything else about him."

            Kristin looked at me, her eyes all squinty, "And you called me because…?"

            "HELLO!  Some strange mythical being dropped into my room!  I didn't know if this was a dream or reality!  And you ALWAYS know what to do in weird situations! I thought maybe you could help me!"

            "Look…Anita, I have no idea what to do! " she gasped, "Maybe it's a sign from GOD!"

I looked at her in disbelief, "I thought you didn't believe in God?"

"I didn't believe in Elves either! But I guess I was wrong!"  She got down on her knees and clasped her hands in front of her in mock prayer, "Dear Lord! I am SOO SORRY for all the premarital SEX Anita has been having!  She won't admit to it, but I _know_ she's a nymphomaniac!  Maybe by sending her this gift of an Elf her voracious sexual appetite will be sated, for now she has a love slave!"

I pushed her over, "Shut up!  I am NOT a nympho!  And stop making fun of the situation!  I need help! What am I supposed to do?"  

"I'm just as lost as you are!  This has NEVER happened to me!  And frankly I'm not awake enough to care!  All I can say is…wait until he wakes up, try and calm him down, 'cause I'm sure he'll be freaked out, and go from there!  I have to go home!  I need sleep! I think I'm in a dream!  I'll call you when I'm lucid!"

            She kept on rambling until she had left, leaving me alone with a comatose Elf…who just moved.  Dear God... he just moved!  _'What if he wants to attack me?  He's really tall…I can't die!  NOOO!' _ I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife…WHAT?  He could go insane and attack!  You never know!

            By the time I got back to my room, he was sitting up mumbling in Elvish and clutching his head.  I hoped he wouldn't realize his weapons were missing.  I stood there… quivering on the spot, waiting for him to notice me, but hoping he wouldn't.

            Just as I thought, the minute he saw me, he went for his bow, only to discover it wasn't there.  He seemed to be silently freaking out…I know I would if I had just dropped into somewhere in place totally opposite what I was used to.

            "Where am I?" Was the simple question he asked.

            I took a deep breath, "You are NOT in Middle Earth anymore.  You are in New York City…in my bedroom.  I am Anita.  Who are you?"  I kept my question to the point and easy…and though I already knew he was Hadir, I wanted to make sure I was correct in my assumptions.

            He took all of this information in before answering.  "I do not know of this 'city' you speak of.  We are not in Middle Earth…this is strange. I am Haldir, March Warden of Lothlorien."

            _'He must still be jumbled from the fall, his sentences are all choppy.' _ I thought.

            "No we are not in Middle Earth.  I know that is where you come from.  Can you remember anything before you came here?  I mean RIGHT before…"

            The disoriented Elf looked around before replying, "I believe I was… I cannot remember…"

            "That's all right." Okay…awkward pause.  Haldir seemed to regain the composure he had last night very quickly, he walked around my as if he knew what he was doing and where he was, but I knew better, I could see he had no idea what my radio did as he turned it…he jumped when classical piano drifted from the speakers.  He hit another button and Madonna's Like a Prayer resonated in the room.  I watched as he lost interest in it and surveyed my room with grey eyes, taking in his surroundings.  I didn't know it at the time, but I was still shaking, and the butcher knife was behind my back out of his view.

            Haldir found my mirror quite amazing, and looked at himself for QUITE some time before turning back to me.

            "Well, I believe this all good fun, but I would like to go home now."

            I had no idea what to say…How are you supposed to tell some one you don't know if they're ever going to see the land they love again.  "Umm…. You can't." _'Oh yes, wonderful mincing of words Anita!'_

            He just looked at me for a moment and said, "Of course I can."

            "Umm… No, I really don't know if you can."

            "Yes you do."

            "No… I don't."

            He seemed to lose his composure each passing second.  "Y-You_ have _to know… you brought me here, did you not?  And if you somehow brought me to this 'New York City' from Middle Earth, you MUST be able to send me back."

            I lost my temper…just a little though, "DUDE! I have no freakin' idea how you came here!  You just dropped into my bedroom last night!  I don't know how you came here, and I certainly don't know how to send you back to Fairy land!"

            His eyes went wide, and he was sputtering most of his words… not making much sense.  "I…cannot g-go back to Loth-Lothlorien?  Ho-How can this be?  I-I don't understand…"

            He trailed off and I picked up.  " I don't know.  I'm just as confused as you are, but my point is…I think you might be stuck here for quite a while."

            And the something I had not expected happened… The 'Great March Warden of Lothlorien' fainted. 

                        THERE! Second chapter done! Good? Bad? Ugly? All those who review shall get…. GLOBES OF MIDDLE EARTH!  And Lothlorien LIGHTS UP! WHOOO!


	3. The Land of the Concious People

EstrielandJenna: Thank you so much for telling me about the typos I saw a crapload now that I go back and read ('My voice was HOARSE', forgetting 'R's' on the ends of words.) I was so happy people liked my story I wrote it up at like 1 in the morning, just to post it.  My spell check is funkified and doesn't pick certain things up…it's weird… (Hands you Middle Earth Globe) There! You get that for showing your devotion to My Story!

Jade Limill: Thank you! (Gifts you with Middle Earth globe) There… Hope you like the new chapter!

I'm probably going to switch between people's points of view, I'll put a little thingy that tells you when I do so! Okay? Keep reading!  And don't forget to review!

            Haldir's POV-

            "I don't know.  I'm just as confused as you are, but my point is…I think you might be stuck here for a while."

            _'Here?  But where exactly is HERE? I cannot go home? This- this is not possible.'  _I then lost all will to remain standing and passed out on the soft floor of this mortal woman's home.

            Anita's POV-

            _'I thought Elves were supposed to be all tough and brave and ready for anything!'_  I thought as I watched the (yet again) unconscious Haldir fall over on to my floor.  _'What am I supposed to do??  He can't go home, I don't know how he got here, and he's all passed out on my floor!'_

I put the butcher knife on my dresser and stared at him.  My first thought was to put him in one of the spare bedrooms…but I can barely lift a 10-pound weight without hurting myself, and he DEFINITELY weighed more than 10 pounds.

            I was lucky though.  He woke immediately after passing out, and he seemed calm again, though a little embarrassed.

            "Well…if you cannot transport me back to my home in Middle Earth, I shall have to find my own way…"

            I snorted and my sarcastic nature took over, "Oh yeah! You can just WALK out into the City wearing clothing that looks like it came from 1536, and not expect to get jumped!"

            He stared at me. 

            Sighing, I looked at him.  "Look…sir…I'm really sorry for dropping the news on you so suddenly.  It's just… well, this is all new to me to, and I think we're going to have to work together if we want to get through this… and attempt to get you back to Middle Earth…somehow."

            He seemed to consider this for a moment, and then he nodded. Reluctantly I might add. 

            "Okay, so we're together in this, right?"  I asked.

            "Yes, we are 'together in this' as you say."

            "Allrighty!  First things first!  Since you seem more in tune with the living world than you were a few minutes ago, could you answer this for me…what were you doing just before you came here?  Like, RIGHT before you 'dropped' in."

            He covered his face and thought about his answer.  "I believe I was…guarding the borders of Lothlorien…"

            "Umm…could you be a TEENSY bit more specific?  Did you do anything that might have triggered you coming here?"

            His head snapped up.  "I fell out of the tree I was in."

            I stared at him.

            "The flet I was standing on…I do not remember _how_ it happened…I must have tripped or stumbled or lost my footing.  I remember falling to the ground, expecting my death.  Yet, as I prepared to hit the forest floor, I did not, I fell…here."  He motioned around my room.

            _'Wow, that's gotta suck!  Expecting to DIE and instead falling here.  Where you don't know WHERE THE HELL YOU ARE. At least when your dead, you KNOW you're dead…hopefully.'_ 

            "It's good that you can remember that…it may help us when we try to get you back to Middle Earth."  I was lying through my teeth, He was probably NEVER going to get back to Middle Earth…I was just sugarcoating it…for his (and my own) sanity.

            I moved over to him, "Is that all you can remember?"

            "Yes, my lady."

            _'My lady?  Wow! I could get used to this!'_   It was then I realized that there was blood dripping down the back of his neck, and onto his long-shirt-thing…TUNIC!  That's what they're called!

            "Umm…you're bleeding."  I said.

            His hand went up to the back of his neck, and his eyes went wide.

            I frowned, "You must have cut your head when you fell onto my jewelry box."  I pointed to the four-foot freestanding jewelry box behind him.  "Come on, we'll get you cleaned up."  I opened my bathroom door, and lead him inside.  He looked lost… and confused.  I walked over to the sink and got a washcloth wet enough to wipe the blood off.  "Here, this'll get the nasty blood off."

            He was yet again amazed by the power of the mirror as he cleaned up the back of his head.  I never Elves could be so self absorbed, because this one certainly was.  He kept tapping the glass to see if it was an image or real… It was rather funny.

            I stood up to go and see how his cut was doing, when something stopped me.  It was a rushing sound…a _loud_ rushing sound.  Haldir didn't seem to hear it …but I sure did… and it was getting louder!  I looked around quickly to try and figure out where it was coming from, and just as I _was_ about to make a comment on it, I heard something else, a voice.  A woman's voice, saying something, but the speech was garbled… and then everything went black.

            Haldir's POV-

            The wound on my head throbbed with pain, it was strange I had not realized that I had it until only a few moments ago, when the human pointed it out to me.  She led to me a bathing area a few steps from her sleeping quarters.  It was then I knew that this place was MUCH different than Middle Earth, and that I may have to get used to the new lifestyle I had 'fallen' into.  Though I did not want to…

            I was examining myself in what seemed to be a reflecting wall when I noticed the girl reflected in the wall, she had a somewhat confused expression on her face, and she was tilting her head, as if trying to hear something.  She began to walk toward me but her eyes glazed over and she swayed on the spot, ready to faint.

            The reflexes bred into me by my Elven heritage allowed me to catch her mere seconds before her small form collided with the floor, and I was able to lay her down so she would not be too uncomfortable…but after that I was at loss as to what I should do.

            Anita's POV-

            I was enveloped in darkness…in cold shadow…and the voice…it was still there, speaking garbled words I couldn't understand… then I felt myself grow detached, and the voice was drowned out by the rushing sound…. and I woke up, on the floor… in the arms of Haldir.  He was looking at me with slight etched on his face.  I began to say  'I'm fine.' But instead threw up all over his dark grey tunic.

WHOOP! Chapter three done!  Everyone seems to be passing out!  I know… it's a bit short, but I thought this was a good place to cut it off, I have to go with my muse, otherwise it'll bug me for days to change it.  SOO! Am I a disgrace to the world of Fan fiction writers?  TELL ME!


	4. New York City, Where Shopping Takes Fore...

Jade Limill:  To be honest, I don't know… I'm actually playing with several different ideas.  I'm writing this story as I go along…it's not prewritten or planned out.  (I find I write better when I have no clue what's going to happen) Thank you for reviewing my story AGAIN! You are considered a devoted fan now… WHOOO!

GitaMerah: I HAVE A NEW REVIEWER!!!! YAY!!! Thank you so much for reviewing!!! It makes me happy…I have people actually READING my story, and enjoying it enough to tell me that it's good!!!

Hanna M.: WOW! You're SOOO nice! Thank you. (Yeah I know.. people were passing out everywhere.  For Her it was necessary, for Haldir, it was comic relief!) I'M NOT A DISGRACE! YAY!!!  I hope you like the next installment of… "Close Encounters from the Third Age."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

            _'Sweet mother of God… I just THREW UP ON HIM!' _ Those were my immediate thoughts right after the incident.  He was too shocked to move…

            "Umm…Sorry." I said in a small voice while blushing.  I tried to get up without getting any of the mess on me.  All Haldir did was nod slowly.

            "I think I will need more than a wet cloth to clean this up." He said quietly.

            "Yeah…here, you can shower.  That's probably the only way to ensure you get ALL the grossness off you…"  I readied the water and showed him the various soaps and stuff to clean him off.  "Just, um hand me your clothes through the door and I'll was h them for you.  We're going to have to go shopping for clothing later…"

            He immediately began stripping down and I had to hurry out of the bathroom, lest I see something I really didn't want to…. A few seconds later, a bundle of clothing was being handed to me through the slightly open door, I grabbed it and put it in the laundry chute.

            What had caused me to pass out?  Yeah, there was that rushing sound… and the freaky voice, but was that really enough to make me faint?  And WHAT WAS that voice all about?  It sounded as if it was trying to talk to me, but what ass-backwards language was that?  It sounded like REALLY mangled English… and the cold…it was awful… I felt drenched in shadowy blackness…and there was another feeling… Vulnerability.  I felt 'out-there' as if I was in danger…__

            I shook my head, _'Okay, Anita, you are going to stop thinking about it now.  Happy thoughts!' _

            I sat at the kitchen table, listening to the sound of the shower in my bathroom.  _'Haldir should be done soon.' _ I thought, as I slowly made my way to the bathroom.  Sure enough, when only a few steps away from the door I heard the water shut off.  I did something rather stupid then…I knocked once and the proceeded into the room without waiting for a reply.

            I was rewarded with a full frontal view of Haldir as he stepped out of the shower…

             I gasped and quickly turned around, shielding my eyes with my arm, "OH MY GOD!  Haldir, I am SO SORRY!  I assumed you had gotten a towel…"

            I was surprised to hear him quietly chuckling behind me.  "'Tis nothing, fair maiden…it is only a body, there is nothing to be ashamed of or sorry for.  You can turn around now, for I am a bit more decent."

            I took a peek before turning fully around.  Haldir was wrapped in a black towel, with all traces of puke and blood gone.

"Do you feel better now that you're clean?" I asked.

            He nodded, "I was not expecting you to vomit…had I known that I was going to give you that kind of reaction I would not have seized you before you hit the ground."

            "It wasn't you that made me throw up… It was the passing out-ness stuff…I don't know…" I stared at him…from the face up mind you…I didn't want to see anything else…ever…

            "Y-You need clothes…. Clothes yes… clothes are good…" I was rambling, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.  I hurried into my bedroom looking for something that might fit Haldir…I was lucky to find a pair of biking shorts and a large T-shirt that looked like they would fit him, though he would probably look REALLY super feminine.

            My suspicions were confirmed when he put the outfit on… it fit him, but made him look… girly… and the fact that he had long, blonde hair didn't help him…

            "Okay, are you ready to come with me and buy you some clothing?"  I asked.

            He nodded silently, and pulled his boots on… good thing those didn't get messed up, I certainly didn't have any shoes to fit him… and when he was finally ready to go (after checking himself in the mirror, AGAIN, and combing his hair) we set off out of my building, and into the melting pot of our country.

            Haldir reacted better than I would have expected, sure he had some problems on the subway (He got stuck in the turnstile, fell over when it started, and he stared at a transvestite far too long.) But other than that, he was fine…he walked right next to me, and only questioned a few things we passed.  Though he did get a little scared when it was time to cross the street and a taxi nearly hit him (unlike a regular New Yorker, who would've flicked the driver off, he just stopped and stared at the driver) I had to pull him across the remainder of the busy street.

            By the time we got to Macy's, Haldir was officially freaked out (a guy had hit on him while I was getting money from an ATM…and I'm not too sure the guy was gay…if you know what I mean…) so he was relieved to see us get to our destination.

            When we got inside, I immediately led him over to the men's wear, and told him, "Go wild." 

            He stared at me for a moment, at loss as to what to do.  I sighed.  _'Wow…we really need to get him all modern-fied.'_  I showed him separate pieces of clothing, asking him whether or not he liked them… at first he was wary, but he began to loosen up as time went on.  He even began to pick out things for himself, and I found he actually had a good taste in clothing…for an Elf who nothing of the modern world that is.

            After spending a good amount of time browsing and trying on casual and formal outfits, Haldir found something that piqued his interest even more than the mirror, but it wasn't in the men's section.  He saw it as we were about to go pay; it was in the women's section.  The moment he saw it, he ran up to it.  'IT' being a beautiful dark red, floor length, silk dress.  I had to admit…it was probably every woman's dream to own a dress like that.

            "Try it on." Haldir said.

            I shook my head, "No.  We are here for YOU.  Not me.  And besides, I would never wear it.  I don't have any 'formal type gatherings' to go to in the next six years.  Come on."  I began to walk toward the register lady.

            "Please try it on, Anita"

            I stopped in my tracks.  That was the first time he ever used my name.  Okay, sure, we barely knew each other, but he had never used my name at any time.  Therefore, due to the 'shock factor' I was obligated to try on the dress…though I wasn't complaining.

            I handed Haldir his not-yet-purchased clothing, and grabbed the dress.  There was only one there… I didn't have much choice.  _'Please, let it fit me!' _ I thought.

            Well, this time was no different than any other time I had ever been shopping.  The thing I want most of all NEVER FITS!

            "Are you finished putting it on? May I see?"  I heard him say through the dressing room door.

            "Don't bother, it's too big around the waist and boob area."

            There was silence, and then I heard his voice again, "I would still like to see it."

            I sighed, opened the door and was met with Haldir's critical gaze.  He stared at me in the dress for a moment and then said simply, "It looks very lovely on you."

            I tried to keep myself from blushing…but did not succeed.  "It's too bug."   Pointed to the gap between my chest and the dress, and the waistline that was a little loose, and the fact that the dress was sleeveless didn't help any.  "See?  I can't get it… It's a two sizes too big…if it was a three, then maybe we could talk."

            "We are talking."

"It's a figure of speech meaning 'if it fit I might have gotten it.' I said while walking back in the dressing room.  I quickly pulled off the dress and pulled ON my own clothing.  _'Man, I really liked that dress.'_ I thought as I returned it to the rack… Haldir looked at it for a few more seconds before following me to the register.

I don't know how it happened, but on the way home, we actually had a normal conversation.  Not one where I was explaining things to him, a normal every day conversation about my job.  He wanted to know where I got the money to pay for everything, I told him my job pays amazingly well and that I get free stuff all the time, so it wasn't a big deal.  He then went on to explain about his job as March Warden.  So it was no surprise that we found ourselves in my apartment in what seemed like a few moments. 

I shoved his clothes into his arms.  "Here, put these in your room, follow me."  I led him into the hallway, past my room, and into the second biggest bedroom in the apartment.  He slowly looked around, taking in what was to be his new room for an indefinite amount of time.

Even though the room wasn't masculine, it wasn't feminine.  It was just a normal.  Stark white walls with black, polished furniture…much like my room.  I had hung a few artsy prints that I got a gallery in Manhattan, they were scattered about the walls to bring some color into the room.

"So…erm…here you are.  Your new room!  There are hangers in the closet, and the drawers are empty.  I'll run to the food store and get you toiletries and stuff later… I'm going to take a nap.  Have fun."

I left, closing the door behind me.  Okay, maybe I should've stayed to help him…but… he's a smart Elf, right?  He can figure things out for himself!  I just prayed to God that he didn't FOLD his new formal suit.  Then I would HAVE TO kill him with his own bow and arrow.

Err…. I had writers block for this chapter, so it came out really boring-like…I'm writing this as I go along, I have the basic concept down…just not all the filler details and where everything will go.  SO!  Good, bad, twitches, Ugly?  REVIEW! Those that do shall get…. ummm…. A book of Elf names for babies! YAY! Nicked it RIGHT from Middle Earth!


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